Lean into expansion.
A guide to growth (In the Gym & Beyond) by Kim Singline - Inner Growth Psychology
“Growth happens when you do the thing that feels a little out of reach”
Ever had one of those moments where life smacks you in the face with a lesson you didn’t ask for?
I had one during a rather intense silent meditation retreat (because why learn things the easy way, right?).
There I was, lying on my yoga mat somewhere in the country, gumtrees overhead, mind blown, realising the entire universe operates in a cycle of expansion and contraction. Tides roll in and out.
Flowers bloom and wilter. Love grows and, sometimes, it fades away. Even your favourite jeans seem to mysteriously shrink in the wash (not your fault, obviously).
It was a moment of clarity: life isn’t about constantly pushing forward, nor is it about staying safe in retreat. It’s about knowing when to lean into growth and when to embrace rest. That ‘sweet spot’ that eludes so many of us… even an apparently ‘learned’ psychologist like me at times!
And look, this realisation hit me hard, because I’ve spent plenty of time resisting expansion out of fear.
Fear of failure, fear of stepping into the unknown, fear of letting go of control.
But I’ve also had times where I’ve thrown myself into expansion, ready or not—whether it was starting my own business in 2023, leaning into new friendships or relationships, or pushing through a personal challenge that made me question all my life choices.
Every time I took a steadying breath and jumped in, I came out stronger.
And contraction? That’s been part of the cycle too, giving me space to process, recover, and prep for the next leap.
With my clients, I help them navigate both.
Sometimes, it’s time for expansion—taking risks, stepping up, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Other times, they actually need to slow down, process things, and stop trying to white-knuckle their way through life.
The trick is knowing which season you’re in, and what is intuitively right for you at any point in time.
Here are a few strategies that may be helpful:
1. Train for Expansion (your mind and your muscles)
Your body and mind are built for expansion—muscles grow, neural pathways rewire, confidence builds. But none of that happens if you don’t push yourself. Growth happens when you do the thing that feels just a little out of reach.
Note: something that feels out of reach will feel uncomfortable.
And that’s OK! No one gets better by doing the same easy thing forever – and life would get pretty darn boring, wouldn’t it?
And yes, science backs this up. A study in The Journal of Experimental Psychology found that people who consistently challenge themselves—whether physically or mentally—see greater long-term improvements in performance compared to those who stick to what’s familiar.
So yeah, your enthusiastic gym coach encouraging you to “just go for it” may be onto something.
Try this: Next time you hesitate to try something new, remind yourself that discomfort is just part of the process. And if you’re worried about looking silly while learning, don’t worry—I once fell off a spin bike in front of a packed class. Builds character.
2. Breathe Through It (seriously, don’t forget!)
Breathwork is like a cheat code for handling stress, discomfort, and those moments when you really don’t want to deal with life. Ever tried holding your breath mid-panic? Disaster. Learning to control your breathing helps endurance, keeps your nervous system from meltdown, and lets you power through challenges when your brain is screaming at you to quit and lie down with a tub of ice cream.
A study from Frontiers in Psychology found that breath control not only improves performance but also reduces stress and increases mental resilience. So, no, deep breathing isn’t just for yoga teachers and people trying to stay calm in traffic—it’s a very important tool for all of us.
Try this: Next time you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath, exhale slowly (for double the amount of time of your inhale) and remind yourself that you’ve handled hard things before. And if you do accidentally let out a dramatic sigh in public, own it.
3. Expand Your Mindset (embrace the power of ‘yet’)
Your mind will quit before your body does. If you believe you’ve hit your limit, you have. But if you train your brain to embrace discomfort, failure, and growth, you’ll start seeing progress in places you never thought possible.
A study in Cognitive Therapy and Research found that people with a growth mindset (believing they could improve with effort) performed better than those who thought their abilities were fixed.
Translation? Telling yourself “I can’t do this” is a self-fulfilling prophecy, while “I can’t do this… yet” actually rewires your brain to get better.
Try this: Catch yourself next time you say “I can’t” and swap it for “I’m working on it.” And if you do fail, remember: nothing builds resilience like the hard stuff.
4. Rest When Needed (especially you, overachievers!)
Contraction is part of the cycle. Flowers don’t bloom year-round, and neither do you. Pushing forward 24/7 without pause is a great way to burn out and start questioning all your life choices.
Rest is productive, too.
A study from The Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that people who take strategic breaks and prioritise recovery actually perform better in the long run than those who try to power through exhaustion. Basically, slowing down doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re setting yourself up for sustainable growth.
Try this: If you’ve been going full throttle, schedule intentional downtime. And no, doom scrolling while feeling guilty doesn’t count. Actually rest.
5. Expand Your Comfort Zone (yes, even in conversations)
Growth happens outside your comfort zone, but let’s be honest: we all have our “safe zones” in life.
If you always avoid tough conversations, new experiences, or things that challenge you, you’re keeping yourself small.
A study from The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who regularly stepped outside their comfort zones—whether by trying new activities, engaging in deep conversations, or taking on challenges—reported higher levels of confidence and life satisfaction.
Try this: Do one thing this week that makes you a little uncomfortable. Start a conversation you’ve been avoiding, try a gym class that makes you a little afraid, or say yes to an opportunity before you feel ready. And if it feels awkward? Good! That means you’re expanding.
The Bottom Line: Expansion = Growth
If you want to grow, evolve, and build a mind, body & life that excites you, you have to lean into expansion. That means taking risks, breathing through discomfort, stretching past mental limits, and knowing when to rest.
Because let’s be honest—growth happens when you stretch yourself (sometimes literally).
Contraction has its place—it helps us reset, recover, and prepare—but we’re not meant to stay there.
Expansion is where the magic happens, so lean in and see what’s possible.
Questions for you to consider
What’s one small way you can lean into expansion this week—physically, mentally, or emotionally?
How do you typically respond to discomfort—do you contract, push through, or find a balance?
Is there an area in your life where you need to embrace contraction before you can fully expand?
About the author:
Kim Singline is a registered psychologist, performance coach, and facilitator who helps individuals,
teams, and organisations build awareness, overcome challenges and reconnect with their values so they can thrive.
If you’re interesting in Kim’s clinical or organisational services, you can check out her website: www.innergrowthpsychology.com.au or send her an email:
kim@innergrowthpsychology.com.au
